If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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