i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize