yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
