fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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