I bet he comes in French.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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