You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
