Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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