do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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