She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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