is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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