Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
