Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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