Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
