There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
