sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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