Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
