She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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