hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
last night I used snow as a chaser
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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