I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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