It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
