you win again, gameday.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
