No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
