Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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