We won't sleep together?
Me too!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
