Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
