When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
