I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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