Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
