Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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