piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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