..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
