I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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