I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
