You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
