Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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