i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
