big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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