he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
