return my video game
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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