I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
