Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
