I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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