Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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