but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
