I think i peed on brittanys purse
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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