I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
