I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
