I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
