I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
