You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
