ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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