I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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