thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
