I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
