You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
only you would photoshop your dick
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize