but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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