just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
