Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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