those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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