Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As shirtless as possible
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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