I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
