somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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