there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
