call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
