I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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