well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
