her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
