He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
