Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
