the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
