i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize