Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
