you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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