Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
