btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
