i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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