sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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