i already hear my dad disowning me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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