Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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